April Fools, Professor Trelawney!
by Fawkes-06
Summary: COMPLETE.


April Fools, Professor Trelawney!  
  
About halfway through spring term of their fourth year both Ron and Harry got Extremely bored with divination. I mean, there are only so many ways to predict your own Death! So they decided halfway through March to pick a new Divination target.

"How about Malfoy?" Harry asked Ron while Hermione checked their Potions essay against hers.

"Nah, he's not even in Divination," said Ron. "What about Parvati?""No. she'd take it too seriously. Maybe Neville?""Nope." Suddenly Ron gasped. "Duh, Harry! Why didn't we see this before! We could go after that old bat Trelawney herself!""Oh ,that's an excellent idea!" piped up Hermione, while erasing bits of Ron's essay magically. "Honestly Ron, what made you think that Dragon scales and Hinkypunk eyes made the Puss-Producing Potion? Everyone knows it makes the Shrinking Draught.""Whatever Hermione,"said Ron. "Just fix it for me, and don't make it incorrect to try and teach me a lesson again.""It's not my fault you didn't notice the mistake and are still working of that abysmal D that you got." Ron then muttered something about girl's odd ways of thinking and began to plot with Harry about what to do to their old pal Sybil.  
  
The next day in Divination Professor Trelawney breifed the class in her usual misty voice. "In a few month's time you will all be having end of the year exams. We will begin today by going back and reviewing tealeaves. Please switch a cup with you partner and begin to read them."Harry's hand shot in the air. "Professor? Could you come over here please?" Professor Trelawney walked over to Harry's table."What is it Mr. Potter?""Ron's broken his cup with his tea leaves in it, can I switch with you?"Certainly dear," said Professor Trelawney as she glided back across the room to fetch a cup. "Now you know I'll know exactly what's in here when I come back to check it?""Yes, Professor," said Harry through a large grin. As Professor Trelawney walked away Harry hissed to Ron "Hurry up and open your book!" As Ron slid his open book toward Harry, Harry immediately began to shift the tea dregs into place, creating successfully a Grimm, a cliff, and a symbol it turns out represents the first of April. Now came time for a bit of acting. "P-Pr-Professor!" gasped Harry. "You really ought to see this." Professor Trelawney whisked over to the table."What is it Potter?" she asked dreamily."Well, according to the tea leaves," said Harry shakily. "yo- you'll die on April first when you fall down a s-set of st-stairs.""LET ME SEE THAT," screamed Sybil Trelawney as she grasped the cup in her hand. She screamed, dropped the cup, then fainted.  
  
"That worked well," said Ron later that evening in the common room. "She didn't even have time to give us homework when she came to." Harry had to admit it did. Now all they had to do was wait a week until the first of April.   
A week later in Divination Professor Trelawney was acting very strangely indeed. She walked around clutching an amulet in her right hand and a large, fluffy cushion in the other. Through the week Harry had arranged in secret a meeting between Professor McGonagal, Professor Trelawney, and himself for this particular day and time. Any minute now they would be called down to McGonagal's office.Sure enough, 5 minutes later Harry heard Mcgonagall's voice through the hole in the floor "Sybill, Potter I need to see you in my office." Poor Trelawney looked as though she was going to cry. She really had no intention of leaving the tower that day.A few seconds later found Trelawney throwing cushions down the hole and having a confused McGonagall place them at the foot of the ladder. Professor Trelawney explained to McGonagal, who gave Harry a reproachful look, as though she knew it was a prank. This peculiar action followed on every set of stairs they met, and it took twenty minutes to get Trelawney off of a staircase that switched positions halfway down. The whole school must have heard her shreiking and bawling as she clutched the banister. Her cries of "I'M NOT READY TO GO YET!" were loud enough to wake the dead. Harry must've cracked 5 ribs watching Professor Trelawney struggle with the inanimate object that is the banister. Her hysterical wails and tear stained face only added to the sweetness of the prank. Harry looked over and was sure he saw McGonagall smiling

What's more, 5 minutes later she forgot about a vanishing step halfway down and refused to go on, swearing that the stars were against her all day today. And halfway down another set of stairs, Trelawney came across Mrs. Norris. The cat indignantly refused to move as Professor Trelawney nudged it with her toe.

"Get back foul creature!" She shreiked. "You messenger of death! It is not my time yet! I'm supposed to die peacefully on a beach in Bora Bora with my favorite brandy at my side!" But still Mrs. Norris stood.

"RELEASE MY YOU ABYSMAL DEMON FROM HELL!" she shreiked louder than ever before. She then threw her amulet she had been clutching, hitting Mrs. Norris square between the eyes. "DAMN YOU AND YOUR FURRY EVILNESS!" The disgruntled cat then took the gawdy jewelry into her mouth and ran off to find Filch, undoubtedly to frame a student.

Harry and McGonagall both looked at Professor Trelawney curiously. Neither had heard of her drinking problem before.

Two hours later they finally reached Mcgonagall's office. "Now what did you want?" said a very distraught Trelawney in an unusual tone even for her. Harry thought Professor Trelawney looked terrible. Her thickly framed and lensed glasses were askew hanging loosely off one ear, her frizzy hair was even untidier than usual, and she looked so very tired. Seeing her sittng there, slumped in a chair betheing heavily could only be described in one word: Priceless.

"Actually I was hoping Harry could tell me that?" said McGonagall through a rather odd smile on her face. She had to have cracked 3 ribs trying not to laugh when that staircase changed.

"Well it's simple really," said Harry, "I think Gryffindor should give a Teacher of the Year Award, and I want Professor Trelawney, my favorite teacher, to have it." At this he looked real respectfully at Trelawney. He then held out a tiny teacup, which had the words "Gryffindor Teacher of the Year" on it. Her faced contorted with rage and she looked, oddly enough, like and angry duck.  
"YOU DRUG ME DOWN ALL THOSE STAIRS FOR A STUPID AWARD?!" I COULD HAVE DIED!" And Trelawney bawled like a baby.

  
After another 2 hour trip to Trelawney's classroom, which was full of what Trelawney called "close calls", Harry headed back to the common room.

"I heard old Trelawney squealing all the way down in Snape's dungeon!" said Ron beaming at Harry. "I wish I could've seen it. That was classic."

"Yeah," Harry said. "You know that teacup we gave her Ron?"

"Uh-huh," said Ron. "What about it?"

"I bewitched it to predict her death every time she uses it!" Harry and Ron laughed for hours  
  
The next time they had Divination, Professor Trelawney pulled Harry and Ron aside.

"Did you think I was stupid?" she asked Harry and Ron. Harry hoped that was a rhetorical question. "Did you think I wouldn't realize what day it was?" APRIL FOOL'S DAY, EH? WELL YOU GOT ME!" Trelawney screamed. "I am very disappointed in you boys," she said while backing up. "10 points will be taken fromGyffind- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Trelawney had fallen straight through the hole in the floor.


End file.
